Friday, December 18, 2015

Balance sheet of LIFE


🔺Birth is your Opening Stock.

🔺What comes to you is Credit.

🔺What goes from you is Debit.

🔺Death is your Closing Stock.

🔺Your ideas are your Assets.

🔺Your views are your Liabilities.

🔺Your happiness is your Profit.

🔺Your sorrow is your Loss.

🔺Your soul is your Goodwill.

🔺Your heart is your fixed Assets.

🔺Your duties are your outstanding Expenses.

🔺Your friendship is your hidden Adjustment.

🔺Your character is your Capital.

🔺Your knowledge is your Investment.

🔺Your patience is your Bank Balance.

🔺Your thinking is your current Account.

🔺Your behaviour is your journal Entry.

🔺Bad things is your Depreciation.

Have a nice balance sheet.
      Always Remember

GOD is your Auditor

Smart Doctor

An Indian Doctor can't find a job in a Hospital in US so he opens a clinic and puts a sign outside 'GET TREATMENT FOR $20 - IF NOT CURED GET BACK $100

A lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn $100 and goes to the clinic...

Lawyer:  "I have lost my sense of taste"

Doctor :  "Nurse, bring medicine from box no. 22 and put 3 drops in patient's mouth"

Lawyer:  "Ugh..this is kerosene"

Doctor:  "Congrats, your sense of taste is restored. Give me $20"

The annoyed lawyer goes back after a few days to recover his money...

Lawyer:  "I have lost my memory. I cannot remember anything"

Doctor:  "Nurse, bring medicine from box no. 22 and put 3 drops in his mouth"

Lawyer (annoyed):  "This is kerosene. You gave this to me last time for restoring my taste"

Doctor: "Congrats. You got your memory back. Give me $20"

The fuming lawyer pays him, and then comes back a week later determined to get back $100.

Lawyer:  "My eyesight has become very weak I can't see at all "

Doctor:  "Well, I don't have any medicine for that, so take this $100"

Lawyer (staring at the note): "But this is $20, not $100"

Doctor:  "Congrats, your eyesight is restored. Give me $20"

Thursday, December 17, 2015

Life hacks

  1. Ants Problem:"Keep the skin of cucumber near the place where there are or at Ant Hole.
  2.         To make the mirror shire: "Clean with Sprite".

    3.      To remove chewing gum from cloths "Keep the cloth in the freezer for one Hour"

    4.      To white white cloths: "Soak white cloths in hot water with a slice of lemon for 10 minutes"

    5.      To give shine to your hair: " Add one teaspoon of vinegar to hair then wash hair"

    6.      To get maximum juice out of lemons: "Soak lemons in hot water for one hour, then juice them"

    7.      To avoid smell of cabbage while cooking: “Keep a piece of bread on the cabbage in the vessel while cooking”

    8.      To remove Ink from cloths: “Put tooth paster on the ink spots generously and let it dry completely, then wash”

    9.      To get rid of Mice or Rats: “Sprinkle black pepper in places where you find Mice & Rats. They will run away”

    10.  Take water from before bedtime: “About 90% of heart attacks occur early in the morning & it can be reduced if one takes a glass or two of water before going to bed at night”

Life after Death

A Boss asks his employee: "Do you believe that there is Life after Death?"

Employee: "Certainly not, there is no proof of it"

Boss:  "Well there is.. After you left early yesterday to go to your cousin's funeral, he came here and looking for you."..

Keep Smiling... :)

Thursday, December 10, 2015

Life is beautiful - 1

Never tell your problems to all,
20% will not care  and
80% will be glad that you have them.


Life is similar to Boxing game.
Defeat is not declared when you fall down.
It is declared when you refuse to get up.


Always Wrong Persons teach the Right Lessons in life.
That is called LIFE EXPERIENCE.


Faith is taking the 1st step even when you don't see the whole staircase.


Keep your face to the sun and you will not see the shadow.


Everything is valuable only at 2 times:
1. Before getting it
2. After losing it


Two things brings Happiness and Success in Life :
1. The way you manage when you have nothing
2. The way you behave when you have everything


Two places are most valuable in the world:
1. The NICEST place is to be in someone's thoughts
2. the SAFEST place is to be in someone's prayers


FEAR has 2 meanings:
1. Forget Everything And Run
2. Face Everything And Rejoice
choice is yours.


ATTITUDE at its best:

"My back is not a voice mail. Kindly say whatever you have by facing me".


What is SUCCESS?

SUCCESS is, when your photos are uploaded on GOOGLE instead of FACEBOOK


"EGO" is the only requirement to Destroy any relationship.
Be a Bigger Person. Skip the "E" and let it "GO"


Do you know why God did not give us the Gift to read other's mind?

So that, we could have the chances to "TRUST" and privilege to be "TRUSTED".


As long as we do not forgive people who have Hurst Us, they occupy a "RENT-FREE-SPACE" in our mind.


Always keep hoping for good. Keep a green tree in your heart. The singing birds will automatically come.


If you walk the way guided by humans, you will find a hopeless end.
But if you will walk the way guided by god, you will find endless hopes and opportunities.


GOD always likes to know again & again what you want.
It is not that he forgets your dreams and prayers, But he loves to check your passion towards your desire. That is why he wants you to have your "QUIET TIME" which we call as "PRAYER TIME" with him everyday.


I asked GOD: If everything is already destiny, then why should I pray?
GOD smiled & said: I have also written CONDITIONS APPLY


Empty pockets teach millions of things in life, But full pockets spoil us in million ways.


Trust is like a sticker.
Once it is removed, it may stick again, but not as strong as it holds when you first applied..


Always take care of  relationships.
Thats why they say, when you are in doubt "SILENCE" is the best policy.


Never win people with arguments. Rather defeat them with your smile.
Because people who always wish to argue with you cannot bear your silence.


If a drop of water falls on a lake, its identity is lost.
But, if a drop of water falls on a lotus leaf, it shines like a pearl.
Drop is the same, but the "COMPANY" matters.


Our hopes should be like HAIR & NAILS.

No matter how many times they get cut, but they never stop growing. That is why they say always hope for the best, however bad the situation may be.


Memories are always special, Sometimes, we laugh by remembering the days we cried and
Sometimes, we cry by remembering the days we laughed.

That is LIFE.

Smart Kid

Papa :- Whom you like more Mamma or papa..?

Kid : - Both

Papa :- No tell me 1...?

Kid :- Both

Papa : if I got to America and you mother go to paris, where will you go?

Kid : Paris

Papa :- It means you like your Mother..?

Kid :- No, because paris is beautiful then America.

Papa :- If i go to Paris & your mother goes to America, so where will you go?

Kid :- America

Papa :- Why?

Kid :- Already roamed Paris with mother

Papa :- (Angry) youuuuuuuuuuuu... Go.. Go to school...

Dedicated to all mothers...

Keep Smiling.. :)

Call from a Bank

"Hello Mam..."

We are offering you credit card with best deals!!!

1. No annual charges
2. No interest on balance for three months
3. Big credit limit
4. No penalties for over spending.

Smart reply by the lady..
"No thanks."

I have a husband....

1. with life time zero fee
2. No spending limit
3. No penalties and most importantly
4. No repayment forever

Line cut without a word

Keep Smiling.. :-)

A child's wish

A primary school teacher asks her pupils to write an essay "what wish do you want from god?"
At the end of the day, the teacher collects all the essays given by her pupils. she takes them to her house, sits and marking them. While marking the essays, the teacher sees strange essay written by one of her pupils. The essay made her very emotional. Her husband comes and sits beside her and saw her crying. The husband asked her wife "What happened?"

She answered, "Read this, it is one of my pupil's essay".

"Oh God, make me into a Television. I want to live like the TV in my house.
In my house, the TV is very valuable. all of my family members sit around it. they are very interested in it.
When the TV is talking, my parents listen to it happily and calmly.
They don't should at the TV. they don't quarrel with the TV. They don't slap at the TV. So I want to become a TV.

The TV is the center of attraction in my house. I want to receive the same special care that the TV receives from my parents. Even when it is not working, the TV has a lot of value.

When my dad and mom come home, immediately they sit in front of the TV, switch on it and spend hours. The TV is stealing the time of my dad and my mom. If I become a TV, they will spend their time with me.

While watching the TV, my parents laugh a lot and they smile many times. But I want my parents should laugh and smile with me.

So please make me into a TV.

And last but not least, If I become a TV, surely I can make my parents happy and entertain them. Lord I don't ask you anything. I just want to live like a TV. Please make me into TV."

The husband completed reading they essay.

He said " My God, poor kid. He feels loneliness. He did not receive enough love and care from his parents. His parents are horrible."

The eyes of  the primary school teacher filled with tears. She looked at her husband and said
"Our son wrote this essay."

Life is beautiful

An old man has 8 hair on his head.

He went to Barber shop.

Barber in anger asked: Shall I cut or count?

Old man smilled and said: "Colour it".

Life is to enjoy with whatever you have with you, keep smiling.

If you feel STRESSED,
give yourself a break,
Enjoy some ice cream, Chocolates, Cake


Because, STRESSED in reverse spelling DESSERTS!!!.

Alphabetic advice for you:

A  B  C

Avoid Boring Company

D  E  F

Don't Entertain Fools

G  H  I

Go for High Ideas

J  K  L  M

Just Keep a friend like ME

N  O  P

Never Overlook the Poor and suffering

Q  R  S

Quit Reacting to Silly tales

T  U  V

Tune Urself for ur Victory

W  X  Y  Z

We Xpect You to Zoom ahead in life

If you see the moon, you see the beauty of god. If you see the sun, you see the power of God and
If you see the mirror, you see the best creation of GOD

so believe in youself

Our aim in life should be

9  8  7  6  5  4  3  2  1  0

9 - glass drinking water
8 - hrs sound sleep
7 - wonders tour with family
6 - six digit income
5 - days work a week
4 - wheeler
3 - bedroom flat
2 - cute children
1 - sweet heart
0 - tension

Have a nice day :-)

Who is poor and rich?

A wealthy woman goes to a saree store and tells the boy at the counter "bhaiya show some cheap sarees. It is my son's marriage and I have to give to my maid."

After sometime ,  the maid  comes to the saree shop and tells the boy at the counter "Bhaiya show some expensive sarees. I want to gift my Mistress on her son's marriage."

Poverty is in the mind or in the purse?

Who is Rich?

Once, a lady with her family was staying in a 3-star hotel for a picnic. She was the mother of a six month old baby.
"Can I get 1 cup of milk?" asked the lady to the 3-star hotel manager.
"Yes madam", he replied.
"But it will cost 100 bucks".
"No Problem", said the lady.
While driving back from hotel, the child was hungry again.
They stopped at a road side tea stall and took milk from the tea vendor.
"How much?" she asked the tea vendor.
"Madam, we don't charge money for kid's milk", the old man said with a smile.
"Let me know if you need more for the journey". The lady took one more cup and left.
she wondered, "Who's richer? the hotel manager or the old tea vendor?

Sometimes, in the race for more money, we forget that we are all humans, let's help someone in need, without expecting something in return. It will make us feel better than what money can.
Coffee never knew that it would taste so nice and sweet before it met milk and sugar.
We are good as individuals but become better when we meet and blend with the right people...

Stay connected.

"The world is full of nice people, if you can't find one.. Be one...

Have a nice day.. :)

Tuesday, December 8, 2015

6 little stories

                                Six Little Stories

1. Once, all villagers decided to pray for rain, on the day of prayer all the people gathered but only one boy came with an umbrella..
                              That is faith.

2. When you throw a baby in the air, she laughs because she knows you will catch her.

                             That is trust.

3. Every night we go to bed, without any assurance of being alive the next morning but still we set the alarms wake up.

                            That is hope.

4. we plan big things for tomorrow in spite of zero knowledge of the future.

                           That is confidence.

5. We see the world suffering. but still we get married.

                           That is Love.

6. On an old man's shirt was written a cute sentence.
    "I am not 60 years old... I am sweet 16 with 44 years experience".

                           That is attitude.

Keep Smiling :)

Joke 3

Girl: Dad i want to tell you something.

Dad: What?

Girl: I love one boy and he lives in America.

Dad: But where you met him?

Girl: We know each other by website...
         we became friends on facebook
         He proposed me on Skype
         We are loving each other on since last two months on Whatsapp
Dad: ohh!! Really...
         Then now marry him on twitter, go to honey moon by make my
         order children in flipkart and finally if you didn't like you husband then sell him on OLX!!!
Daughter shocked and Daddy rockz.

Keep Smiling ... :)

Joke 2

A Junior in office dialled his boss's extension by mistake and said:
Hey send a coffee in my cabin in 2 mins.

Boss Shouted: Do you know whom you are talking to?
Jurnior: No!
Boss: I am the Boss.

Junior (In same tone) : Do you know whom you are talking to?
Boss: No.

Junior: THANK GOD (& disconnected)

Keep Smiling :)

Joke of the Day - 12092015

A girl at bus stop spotted a handsome man and without hesitation she told "i love u".

Man placed his hand on her head: "this love and infactuation all are nothing, Go back to your home and study hard so that you can lead a successful like".

Man then placed a piece of paper in her hand: "I have written some wisdom for you. read before you sleep" and went away.

girl went back to hostel with tears and before sleep she opens the paper.

"Are you blind? my wife was standing behind me anyways this is my number call me anytime. by the way.. I love you too"...

MEN ARE MEN .. :) :)